quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
