I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I love you. Go after that dick
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
