I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize