I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
