There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
