xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
