booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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