Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
