Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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