trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
