she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
