And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
