Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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