there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
