Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
