Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
