my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
