Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
