Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
