I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she pinky promised me she was 18
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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