Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
