Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
