so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
