I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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