Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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