Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
