I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize