i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
