ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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