I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we made out on top of his cat.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
