I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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