Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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