He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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