Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
