Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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