Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
