you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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