No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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