You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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