Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
