i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
