I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
