I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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