I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
