So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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