Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
