You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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