So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
