rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
