ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ketchup is God's man juice
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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