I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
