so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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