dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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