You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
